


Admiral and Commander - Part 2

by maebyrutherford (maeberutherford)



Category: Dragon Age II, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Alcohol, Casual Sex, Explicit Language, Gen, Hanging Out, Humor, Inappropriate Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-16
Updated: 2015-10-16
Packaged: 2018-04-26 16:46:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,830
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5012245
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maeberutherford/pseuds/maebyrutherford
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A follow up to this piece, where Admiral Isabela visits Skyhold (and check it out for the amazing art)  <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/3959167">Admiral and Commander</a></p><p>Isabela and Cullen discover they had a mutual "romantic" interest in Kirkwall while hanging out in Herald's Rest. Features frank discussions of sex - you know, Isabela's specialty.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Admiral and Commander - Part 2

**Author's Note:**

> My head canon is that Cullen is sexually experienced when Inquisition happens, so if you aren't into that, you probably won't like this.

Isabela lowered her voice dramatically, her eyes sweeping over her admirers from her perch atop the tavern table.

“So there we were, bloodied and spent, his dagger to my throat and my body pinned to the ground. I didn’t expect him to be so skilled, I was sloppy. My life flashed before my eyes.” She paused for dramatic effect.

“C’mon, out with it, what did you do?” Sera demanded, leaning forward on her chair.

Isabela fixed her brown eyes on the elf. “I looked him straight in the eye and said in the most seductive, most charming voice I could muster, ‘If you let me live, I’ll suck your big, fat, rippling cock’.”

Iron Bull slammed his huge palm on the table. “Ha! Rippling - nice.”

“Don’t tell me he fell for that ruse,” Dorian said. “And if he did, don’t spare the details.”

“Seconded!” the Inquisitor quipped.

Isabela grabbed her mug and crossed her legs, eyeing Ingrid with amusement. “Sorry to disappoint, you deliciously depraved kittens. It only distracted him long enough for me to knee him in his bits, take his knife and drive it into the bastard’s neck. And that was the end of him.”

Sera sniggered. “Perfect end to a perfect arse hole. I’ll drink to that.”

Varric raised his mug. “Here’s to knowing when to call on your strengths!!” 

Just as they were taking swigs of their drinks, an agitated-looking Cullen took a seat next to Ingrid.

“I’m sorry I’m late, we had a...situation in the barracks.”

Varric chuckled. “Only you would apologize for being late to casual drinks at the tavern.”

The Commander frowned. “What do you mean? You said an hour past sundown, and it’s well past.”

Dorian looked at him as if he were an adorable child. “That’s typically just a suggestion, Commander.”

“Leave him alone. At least he has manners, unlike some of you,” Ingrid teased.

Isabela motioned for another round of drinks before settling her gaze on Cullen. She looked every bit the Admiral she was, fully decked out in her splendid feathered cap and long coat, intimidating and approachable all at once. “What sort of situation was it?”

Cullen shifted in his seat and averted his gaze; all eyes were on him. He scratched at his ear and sighed. They were likely to hear of it eventually through the gossip mill.

“We had a flasher in our ranks.”

Sera did a spit take, her ale spraying in a fine mist all over Varric. “Hey, watch it!” he cried, standing up and wiping himself.

“No!” Ingrid said. “Who was it?”

“And what does he look like?” Dorian asked.

“Ah, that takes me back,” Iron Bull said wistfully. Nobody dared to ask him why.

“It doesn’t matter who, it’s been handled. He’ll be gone from Skyhold by morning.” He accepted his drink from the server and almost downed it all in one gulp.

“Well, from Admiral to Commander, I applaud you for getting rid of him. Having fun is all well and good, but only if both parties consent. If I want to see it, I’ll ask, am I right?” Isabela gave Ingrid an incredulous look.

“I’m so relieved you approve.” Cullen’s reply was dry as a bone.

“Sassy! I like this side of you,” Isabela cooed. “Too bad we never got to see it in Kirkwall.”

Cullen sipped his mead and eyed her over the rim. “There were many sides of me you never saw in Kirkwall,” he muttered.

Isabela’s eyebrow shot up and she planted a hand on her knee. “I heard that.”

“Tired of sitting!” Sera announced as she elbowed Ingrid. “Want to show that bullseye what’s what?”

“Actually I do,” Ingrid grabbed her tankard. “I’d like to win my dignity back. I’m just drunk enough to make it a challenge.”

Cullen half rose from his seat and reached toward Ingrid. “But I just arrived. Won’t you stay?”

“I’m not leaving-leaving, I’ll just be outside for a bit. Be back as soon as I make an example of Sera.” She pecked him on the cheek.

“Pffft, as if!” Sera squawked on their way out.

Iron Bull said something low in Dorian’s ear, causing the mage to cough loudly. He spoke as soon as he composed himself. “I have very important research to catch up on. It’s been a pleasure, my dear.” He kissed Isabela’s hand and said his goodbyes, practically running for the exit.

Iron Bull towered over them and jerked a thumb in the mage’s direction. “Yeah...I’m leaving to have sex with Dorian. See you.” 

Isabela watched the Qunari leave with great intrigue. “I sure wouldn’t mind being the meat in that sandwich.”

Cullen squirmed in his seat, looking longingly at the door.

“What’s wrong, Curly?” Varric asked. “You look like someone just took your favorite toy.”

“It’s my fault, sweetie,” Isabela admitted, “I was flirting with him earlier. Sorry about that, but you know me, it’s kind of my thing. Especially when one looks as you do.” She stated it as if it were a matter of fact.

Varied nodded in understanding. “Ah, making the Commander blush, were we? Curly, you’d think you’d be used to it by now, especially after Halamshiral.”

“Please,” Isabela said, “Handsome men who know they’re handsome are so boring and insufferable. They’re much more adorable when they’re flustered.”

Cullen glowered at the two of them. “Will you two kindly stop discussing…whatever this is?”

“Sorry, let’s change the subject. Isabela was just telling a story about a man who tried to kill her for flirting with his girlfriend.” 

“At the Hanged Man, which I’m sure comes as no surprise to you,” Isabela added. 

“Oh?” Cullen asked with interest after taking a sip of mead. “Anyone I might know?”

The Rivaini leaned back on the table, supporting herself with her hands. “Perhaps - she was a baker’s daughter in Lowtown.” There was a far away look in her eyes. “Raven hair as black as my heart, alabaster skin, big blue eyes, legs for days and an ass sculpted by the Maker himself.” She sighed longingly. “Unfortunately killing her boyfriend was a real deal-breaker. Never did get to find out if the carpet matched the drapes.”

Cullen nodded . “Oh yes, Shani, I knew her.” He took another drink, a tiny lopsided grin forming on his lips. “Incidentally, it did.”

Varric spun in his seat and Isabela leaned forward, her eyes narrowing. 

“Are you fucking with me, Commander?” she asked.

“Why? Is it so hard to believe I’d been with a woman at all, or a woman of that caliber?”

“Well, no, it’s not that, it’s just that you always seemed so…proper, rule-following. When would you even have the opportunity? Especially under that loony Meredith.”

Cullen looked surprised. “Isabela, you of all people should know better than to ask that question. Besides,” he cocked an eyebrow, “who do you think made the bread deliveries?”

Varric barked a laugh, slapping his knee.“The reserved Knight-Captain having an illicit rendezvous with the baker’s daughter, who woulda thought?”

Isabela jumped down from her perch and pulled a chair close to Cullen, straddling it backward, her dark eyes glittering. “Tell me everything, and don’t leave out one single detail. What was she like in the sack?”

Cullen looked between the two of them. “I’m hardly going to sit here and revel you with torrid details. I’m afraid I’ve already said more than I should have.”

Isabela tossed her head back and groaned. “Why must you torture me like this? You have no idea how infatuated I was with this woman. I want to know what she looked like under those clothes, what she felt like, what she sounded like, what she - oh Maker - what did she taste like?”

“Easy there Isabela. Did it occur to you that maybe it was serious and he doesn’t want to kiss and tell?” Varric asked.

She shot the dwarf a dirty look. “Whose side are you on, anyway?”

Cullen’s smug grin was partially concealed by his tankard. “It was a mere dalliance, but I’m afraid you’ll have to use your imagination just the same.

A wry smile spread across the pirate’s pierced lips. “You’re toying with me, aren’t you? Cute. Now talk, Commander. You clearly want to, or you wouldn’t have told me that she’s raven haired all over to begin with.” She made a fist and looked away. “Damn, I knew it, too.”

Cullen tried to look serious. “That was unworthy. I let my hubris get the better of me. She was a lovely woman, I don’t want to be disrespectful.”

“Oh I have nothing but the utmost respect for her, trust in that. What if I ask you questions and you say yes or no? Can you at least do that for a lonely, horny pirate such as myself?”

Varric leaned back and laced his fingers behind his head. “Rivaini, if you’re lonely then I’m the Nug King.”

“My love life isn’t what it used to be, Varric. I’ve gotten choosier after I got tired of fending off assassins in bed. And Shani was one of the ones that got away.” She looked at Cullen eagerly. “So, what do you say?”

Cullen looked uneasy. “Perhaps, if it’s just yes or no.”

“Excellent! Now let’s see…was she a good kisser? I imagine those full lips were soft and sweet.”

“Yes, very much so, from what I recall.”

“Ah.” She smiled fondly. “How about her breasts? I mean, were they as perky as they looked underneath all those blasted clothes?”

Cullen couldn’t hide his smile at the memory. “Oh, yes.”

She took a deep breath. “Andraste preserve me. Nipples - large or small?”

Varric laughed. “You’re too damned much, you know that?”

“This will help me when I’m alone at sea, Varric, now hush.” She turned back to Cullen. “Well?”

Cullen thought it over, a blush creeping up his neck. “Somewhere in between.”

Her excitement was building, the questions coming in rapid succession. “Was she a howler? Dominant? A squirter? Were you allowed in through the back door?”

Cullen almost choked on his mead. “Maker’s breath!” he sputtered as Varric slapped him on the back.

“It’s just us. Please? I promise, no more questions.” The Admiral was practically begging and Varric was no longer coming to his defense, eagerly awating his answer.

He glanced between the dwarf and the pirate several times before he relented. “Yes, sometimes, no and…once. No, twice,” he hasitly added. “Now are you quite finished?”

Isabela squealed, stood from her chair, grabbed Cullen’s shocked face and kissed him on the cheek. “You have no idea how much I appreciate this, sweet thing.” She called over to Cabot. “A round of shots of your finest booze, please!”

When the drinks arrived, Isabela raised a glass.

“To the Commander, for landing the finest piece of ass in all of Kirkwall, and for giving me something to dream about for many nights to _come_.” She winked. “I salute you.”  


End file.
